Happy Anniversary, Leo!

Four years ago today, I married the best man that I have ever met. It was a crazy, exciting day that started with us not even knowing we would be married by the end of that day! Yes, you read that right. We made the decision mid-morning and were married at about 2 in the afternoon at the Chatham County Courthouse in Savannah, GA. Our parents didn't know we were married until we called them that evening to let them know! That was a funny phone call to make! It went kind of like this:

Mari: Hey Mom, I have some news for you!
Mom: Okay....
Mari: Leo and I got married today!!
Mom: <>
Mom: Oh, really!! Wow!

Oh yeah, and my Mom was out of town at the time, so it was a long-distance call to boot!! Leo's call to his Mom probably went similarly, but I don't remember now! Leo proposed to me on Christmas Day and five days later we were married. Sounds crazy, I know, but that fits our personality so well and I couldn't imagine it happening any other way!

So, to the love of my life- I am so honored and blessed to be married to such a fun, loving man. I appreciate all you do for me, us and our family. I am so proud of you! Happy Anniversary, honey! Here's to many more great years ahead.

Exciting News!!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Thank you for the well wishes after my last post about my dog. I still have my days when I wonder if I made the right decision. Sometimes the "what if's" get the better of me. I know in my heart, though, that I made the right decision. She is no longer suffering and in a much better place.

Well, this post was intended to share my exciting news so I'll just get to it:

I interviewed for a new job and was given an offer that I have accepted. I submitted my resignation this past Monday at my current job and my last day there will be January 5th. I begin my new job on Wednesday, January 7th. I am soo excited about this opportunity. It is a step of faith as this job will be a significant pay cut. I know it is God's will and I am completely at peace with this decision. I look forward to the opportunity to "start new" with my attitude and ideals. Thank you to all of you that have prayed for me to get to this day. I greatly appreciate it. Words can't express how greatful I am. Thank you again!

Difficult Day

I had to put my dog to sleep today. She was about 11 years old and was previously my family’s dog. Leo and I brought her to our home about a year ago. Several weeks ago, I noticed that she was not eating as much as she usually does. I didn’t think anything of it because that was about the same time we found a new home for the dog that Leo’s Dad gave us several months ago. (It was too much to take care of both dogs and the little dachsund was having some difficulty with house-breaking) Anyway, a short time after I noticed Sadie was not eating as much, I started finding more and more throw-up accidents. Then I started to notice how thin she was getting and that her food bowl would stay full overnight. I decided to take her to the vet to see what could be wrong. I was told she had pancreatitis and she would have to stay at the vet’s office for a couple of days. She ended up staying there for three days with little improvement. The bill was becoming pretty hefty and I decided to bring Sadie home. I was taught at the vet’s office how to give her subcutaneous fluid injections and was instructed to do that at least twice a day, an entire 1000ml bag each time. We were also given antibiotics to give her and told she couldn’t have food for another couple of days either. Well, after several days of the fluid treatments and the antibiotics, there was still very little change in her condition. She ate one day and was able to hold it down but then began throwing up again the next day. Because we were pushing so many fluids into her, she could not contain herself and was continually having accidents in the house. Thankfully, she went on some puppy-pads we put down, but it was still very stressful for us, and I’m sure for her as well. She had always been kind of a modest dog (if that’s the right word). She was never one to have accidents in the house and didn’t like it if you were in the vicinity while she was doing her business. I had been told by the vet that pancreatitis can be very painful for the dog (as I can imagine would be the case) and I was beginning to notice that she was in discomfort. For days I have been wondering if I should give up and end Sadie’s suffering but I kept holding on to the hope that she would be better the next day. This morning it became very evident to me that I was being selfish in making her continue to suffer. While I was at work, I called Leo to see how his morning was going and he was very frustrated. Sadie had just thrown up what little bit she had eaten from the night before. I had already cleaned up two accidents that morning and Leo was in the process of cleaning up another accident too. So the decision was made and I called the vet to schedule a time to take her. Let me tell you, that was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make this far in my life. I never pictured taking a dog that could walk on her own into a vet’s office and leaving without her like that. I wasn’t sure if I could stay with her while they did the procedure, but I felt it was right to stay and comfort her while she passed. I still wonder if I made the right decision. Right up until this this morning, she would wag her tail when she saw me. Leo and I did give her some treats before we took her to the vet’s office today since she loved those so much. She seemed very pleased while she ate them. I hope that little gesture gave her a glimmer of happiness to offset the pain and discomfort she has been feeling for too long. I loved that dog and I will truly miss her. She always seemed to know when I needed comfort and she would snuggle to me. I hope it was comforting to her that I was there to snuggle with her at the end.

Warning- This post is very long!

I’m not sure why I feel the need to share this story with you all, but these memories have been playing over and over in my mind for a couple of days. Many of you may or may not know that I was in the Coast Guard for several years. While I was in, I experienced a variety of things. Truthfully, there were very few experiences that were really scary or thrilling. The majority of my Coast Guard career was spent training for tasks that I never completed. In this story that I am writing about, I was actually still in training to become a Boat Crewmember.

The minimum crew that was required to operate and respond to any cases on the boat that I was working on consisted of three people, a coxswain (the person that physically drives the boat), the engineer, and the crewmember (who is responsible for line handling, navigating, and fire fighting). If I remember correctly, it was pretty early in my training experience. The day had been pretty gloomy and it was getting late in the evening. The radio watchstander received a call from a shrimp boat that was in distress. If you have never seen a shrimp boat before, they literally look just like the shrimp boat in Forrest Gump. And if you haven’t seen that movie, you should watch it and then continue reading this story! They have these things called outriggers about midboard on either side of the boat. They are metal, about 25 to 30 feet in length, are in an upright position when the nets that are attached to them are not in the water, and straight out from the boat when the nets are in the water.

As you can imagine, these outriggers are pretty heavy and make a dramatic difference in the way the boat rides depending on what position they are in. The shrimp boat’s distress was that one outrigger was upright and the other was stuck out to the side of the boat. The weather and seas were getting really rough. The crew of the shrimp boat was in a panic that the boat was going to capsize because the weight of the outrigger that was down was already causing the boat to lean to one side and the waves were pushing the boat further over. The decision was made that the crew from our Coast Guard station was going to go get the people off of the boat. Just to add a little more intensity to this story, the shrimp boat was about 20 miles from our Station. I don’t know if any of you have been 20 miles (one-way) in a boat, but let me tell you, it is a loooong ride! Factor in bad weather and conditions and it gets a lot longer!

Because we knew we were going to be fighting the bad weather and seas, it was decided to take several people in addition to the standard boatcrew. The crew that went out on this case consisted of Joe as the coxswain, Chris as the engineer, another Chris as the crewman, and Josh and I as crewman "break-ins". I was comfortable with the boatcrew. I had a lot of respect for the coxswain and viewed him as the second best boat driver that the facility had. The first best was the Chief that was in charge of the station and he wasn’t there that night.

We got underway and things were going as well as could be expected. The seas were fierce. Raging. Angry. I would suspect that ride was similar to what clothes go through in a washing machine. Waves were crashing in front of us, behind us, and on both sides of us. The water was churning and their was no pattern, rhythm, or consistency to them whatsoever. The seas were steadily building. We started with about 6 foot seas. Then it was 8. 10. Pretty soon the seas were easily becoming 12 foot from trough to crest. There was nearly constant communications happening on the radio between our station watchstander, out boat crew, and the crew on the boat in distress. There was constant clatter of the radio and the lapping of the waves against our boat.

I will never forget the sound of an aluminum boat slamming through a wave and onto the next. I will never forget the feeling of floating in air, hoping that we would land on the next wave without tipping over. I will forever feel the ache in my legs and knees as I struggled to stand and absorbed the shock of one wave after another. I have literally seen a wall of water crash onto the windshield that I am peering through with so much force, I’m not sure how I wasn’t wearing shards of glass and soaked to the bone.

The Coast Guard has pre-established weather standards that a boat that size can withstand. The limitation of seas for that size boat is 10 feet. Some mathematical formula says that anything larger than that dramatically increases the risk of capsizing the boat, ending in possible injury or even loss of life. Did I mention that the seas were approaching and even surpassing 12 foot?

The most difficult part about this entire scenario is that once our boat reached the limitations, it’s not like the seas would just give up and we would have a smooth ride home. No, we were going back the exact same way we came. There was no safe haven to hide in until calmer weather came around. We had nowhere to go to escape the intensity of the seas and weather. Unfortunately, we were instructed to return to base without being able to assist the vessel in distress. The seas had become too rough and the chances could not continue to be taken. The most frustrating and gut-wrenching part about the recall is that we had made it to within one mile of the boat. If the day were calm and still, we would have been able to see the boat from our position at the point we had to turn around.

I can still remember the feeling of terror and fear that overcame me when the guy I admired so much became so physically exhausted from trying to maneuver the boat that he had to take a break and let the engineer, Chris take over for awhile. See, it didn’t even really occur to me the exact severity of what we were dealing with until that point. I knew it was bad. I knew it was not ideal, but I honestly never thought about the fact that this could have had a negative outcome.

I am ashamed to admit that I never once prayed to God for His hand of protection. I put my faith into a flawed and imperfect human and never gave thought to the One who really protected us and allowed us to return home safely. It has taken me years to realize the protection that was covering us that night was completely God. I cannot express my thankfulness for the God who provides even when I don’t deserve it or acknowledge it. I don’t know that I will ever understand why people are put into the situations they are or why the outcomes turn out the way they do, but I know from this day forward I will give all of the glory to God for His power and grace.

2 months!! WOW!

I cannot believe it has been two months since I last posted anything. I know it has been awhile, but I didn't think it had been that long! I wish I could say I have all kinds of things to report, but I do not.
Ummm, let's see....We are in potty training mode. With Holly of course! I've been trained for a few years!! It's not going very smoothly! Her potty training, that is. Mine's okay....Alright, enough of that subject!!
I will be finishing up two of the three classes I am taking right now by Halloween. Oh, I can't wait! I will never, ever, ever, ever take three classes at the same time again, as long as I can help it. That is, as long as I am working full time also. And the day can't come too soon that I don't have to work full time, at least at the same establishment that I am currently employed. Ugh, I dread going there. Every. Single. Day.
Leo, Holly and I are going to Georgia for Thanksgiving! I am so thrilled about that trip! I know my Mom will be so excited to see Holly and vice versa! We don't have anything too excited planned. We just plan on hanging out. I think it will be really good for me.
Well that's about all I can think of! I'm sorry my first post in a very long time is as dull as this one. I promise I will try to drum up something much more interesting and witty!

Man, oh man!

Work. Crazy.

Life. Crazy.

School. Crazy.

Me. Going crazy!

That just about sums it up! It's been awhile since I've posted. Partly because I haven't had much to write about and partly because I have had too much to write about!! Paradoxical, I know! So where to start....

I did not get the position at my work that I applied for. I am sooo completely okay with that, actually. I wasn't sure that I really wanted the job and as soon as I submitted my resume, I immediately knew that I wouldn't take the job even if it was offered to me. I just really didn't feel good about it. I even call it my "reverse God-sighting"! God-sightings are something that I learned about in my Family Group. Basically, they are little glimpses in your life of ways that God has blessed you. I call this a reverse God-sighting because typically you want to get the job you applied for and in this instance I did not get it. God is good! He knows what's best for me and will keep me from harm if I just trust in Him. I am really trying hard to give up that control and worry and trust in Him in everything I do. I am very controlling and often struggle with giving that up!

Guess who's in her big girl bed now?!!! ME!! Hahaha, okay just kidding. I've been there awhile actually, thanks for asking! Holly has officially graduated to a twin size bed! My mother-in-law bought her a beautiful quilt and pillow sham and Holly is so excited about her new bed. Here's a couple of pictures for proof!

Can I just say that she is soooo beautiful. I mean really, is it okay to gloat about her when I obviously have a biased opinion?!! I sure hope so! She is so completely amazing to me. I can't believe how intelligent she is too! She is doing so well with her speech. My favorite thing that she does now is says "See ya!" as she's leaving places! Oh my gosh it's soo adorable.

I have 2 new classes beginning on Monday. That is in addition to the one class I am already taking. The 2 new classes are an English/Composition class and Managing in the Legal Environment class. I keep joking with Leo that he can take my English class for me since he's the English major! Now if I can just find someone else to take my management class.....! Just kidding, just kidding. I will do the responsible thing and take these classes myself. I guess. Since there are no takers! :)

I am so excited about the kickoff of the season of the Wednesday night meetings for Heart 2 Heart next week. I can't wait to see what our next study will be. It seems like it has been so long since we all have met and I'm exciting about connecting in person again with so many people. I just love all of you guys! I hope you are all doing well and have a good night!

We have a new...

Dog!! She is a 3 year old dachsund and her name is Dixie. She is sooo cute!! Holly just adores her. She used to be Leo's Dad's dog but he is moving into an apartment and needed to find another home for her. We are going to try it out for awhile to see if we can handle it. We already have another dog and a cat. The other dog we have is a German Shepherd mix and she is about 12 years old (I think!). She used to be my family's dog and we worked it out with my parents to get her up here from Georgia earlier this year. She is a great guard dog! It's amazing how quickly she has become protective of Holly. If Dixie gets too close to Holly, Sadie (the german shepherd) runs her off! The cat doesn't seem to mind this dog like she usually does when we get a new pet.

So I guess this dog is kind of like an early birthday present! My birthday is tomorrow and I am going to be the big 29. Next year I will be 30 and then I'm gonna hold steady at that age!! :) I don't have anything exciting planned for tomorrow. It just seems to be another day, and I am perfectly okay with that! I hope everyone has a great day!!

Miscellaneous

Well, it's that time again. What time, you say? It's school time again for me. I know you are relieved to know this important bit of information. My next class officially started today. I am taking Microeconomics to get it out of the way while Macroeconomics is still somewhat fresh in my head! Thankfully, I will have a different instructor than I did for Macro as he was not a very good teacher. Practically non-existant actually. But....I am hopeful that this class will go much better than the other one did! Actually, it really is starting well because the first three chapters I am supposed to read, I have already read from my Macro class. YAY!

Have I told you guys how much I miss getting together for the Heart 2 Heart Women's Group. I mean I really miss seeing you all. I get to keep up with a few people through their blogs, but with the summer, most people aren't blogging as often right now either. (Including me!) I can't wait for it to start again but I don't even know when that is! I have been going to the summer study "Is There Really Sex After Kids". The answer is yes.....according to the book! Isn't it always easier in black and white?!! I actually really like the book and I do recommend it to everyone. There is some really insightful thoughts and ideas that can definitely help in your marriage, and not just physically related either.

Speaking of sex after kids :), I keep having this persistant thought go through my head that I am pregnant. It is the weirdest thing. Leo and I have decided that we are ready to take that step and hope that it happens in the near future. But we just recently made that decision and I don't know that there has been enough time to pass for me to actually be pregnant. But I'm telling you, the thought just won't go away. So much so that we stopped at CVS and bought a pregnancy test yesterday. It was negative. To be honest, I was a little upset that it was negative. I know that in due time, it will happen, but a huge part of me wants to be pregnant again. Which is crazy to watch myself type that thought because it wasn't too long ago that I was seriously considering only having the one child and never going through pregnancy again. So I have come to the conclusion that I must be having sympathy thoughts and feelings and someone around me is pregnant. Is it you?!! ;}

Well, I heard rumor today that was not very promising for the position that I applied for. (I know I should really not put alot of stock in rumors, but I feel that it came from a trusted source who is privy to the inside scoop) The rumor is that they are not going to fill the position I applied for until January. Not good. For so many reasons, not good. One, because I don't know if I can wait that long to know if I am even a candidate for the position. And two, because it's that much longer that I will be temporarily doing some of the duties of that position, in addition to my current duties. Ughhh, the suspense is going to kill me!!

I am very excited for my neighbors. They are pregnant and will be going to the hospital tomorrow to have what is called a "version" done (that's not the part I'm excited about:). Apparently their baby is in the breech position and a "version" is an attempt to manually turn the baby to the correct position that is safe for vaginal delivery. If the version works, they are going to immediately induce her so that there isn't enough time for the baby to turn again. If it doesn't work, they have a C-Section scheduled for 9am. Either way, more than likely, their son will be born tomorrow! I can't wait to meet him! I hope and pray that everything goes well for my neighbors tomorrow. They are going to be such great parents.

Well, that's about all I can think of for an update! I hope you are all doing well!

I did it!

Thank you for the advice and support that you guys have given me with my job application dilema. I submitted my application and resume last night. Now it is a wait-and-see game. My thought process is that if it is meant to be, I will be selected to interview. Had I not submitted the application, I would have never even known if I had a chance, or if it was God's will.

Our office had a going away party for my boss. It went really well and it is good to have that stress over with. I somehow was put in charge of planning and organizing the get-together and it seemed like it was during a time that I had too many other things to do! Oh-well, it went well and tomorrow is officially her last day. I am very sad about not being able to work with her anymore because I really admire and respect her. I wish nothing but the best for her in all of her future endeavors.

I'm looking forward to the Elston Carnival on Saturday. This will be my first carnival at the church and I know how great of an opportunity it is going to be to reach out to the community and spread the word about our awesome church and of course about the awesomeness of Jesus Christ. I hope to see you all there!

To apply or not to apply

I have been wavering back and forth on whether or not to apply for a position that would inevitably be a promotion for me. Now, before you say "Is she crazy, why wouldn't she apply for it", let me explain my thoughts. And I guess it would be helpful to give you all a little background, too.

I have been employed at my current workplace since October of 2005. Previous to that, I had nearly 7 years of experience in the Coast Guard, where I was honorably discharged as an E-5 (in non-military terms, I was of supervisory level!) When I first began working in the office that I work now, I started at the bottom of the totem pole. About a year after I began working there, the person that was previously in my current position decided to quit. I applied for and was hired into that position. There were a few growing pains when I became the supervisor of a person that used to be a pay-grade above me, but I think it's safe to say that we are past that now. When I was hired for that job, my supervisor told me that she would expect alot of assistance out of me for things in the office that she needed help with. I have risen to the occasion and am proud to say that I have learned and exceled in my position. (At least I think so!) I am the go-to person during my supervisor's absence (and sometimes even the go-to person for my supervisor :) !) Well, the time has come and now my supervisor is quitting (should I be getting a complex about this?!!) and her job is available to be applied for until July 10th. I feel that I would be able to learn and excel in her position, too. My hesitation is simply the amount of hours that I have seen her put in and still be extremely far behind. I have the utmost respect for this person that is leaving and don't fully know what the situation was that she was so buried in work. I don't want to degrade her efforts and will just keep my opinions to myself, but suffice it to say that I believe I wouldn't face some of the same obstacles. Another reason for my hesitation is that although it will be a nice pay increase in black and white, I will become a salaried employee (I am now overtime eligible, not that I have had to work too many overtime hours) which means that although I will get paid more, with that comes the expectation to put in longer hours, as well.

So, I have talked this over with Leo for quite some time and I have prayed about it even longer. Some days I feel like the little voice is telling me to stay right where I'm at because there are other things in my life that need to be focused on. Than other days, I think I would still be able to handle all of the obligations to family, church and school and still learn this new job as well. I know the option is there to submit my application and then not take the job if that time were to come. But, it would be pretty awkward if I were to get to the point of being offered the job and then turn it down.

What to do?....What to do?....

Whewweee!!

Man, does time ever fly! I had no idea it had been so long since I have posted on here! Sorry guys!! But, I did say that I didn't know if I would have the stamina to keep up with this thing!!

Well, I don't really have anything witty or interesting to write about. Life has been ridiculously busy, as I noticed many others are feeling as well! Let's see what news I have to report:

1. I just learned that beginning in August of 2009, the Montgomery GI Bill is changing for post 9/11 veterans. The new program sounds very exciting and I hope the beginning date to the new benefit stays on track. Basically, the new GI Bill is changing so that it covers full cost of tuition (paid directly to the school on a person's behalf), it will give a monthly stipend that nationwide averages $1400, and a yearly stipend of $1000 for books and fees related to school. That is the full benefit available if a person served for 36 months or more since 9/11/01. If a person has served less than 36 months, the benefit is adjusted by percentage increments based on the total time served. The really good news about this new benefit is that, unlike the current GI Bill, there is no mandatory pay-in amount that could make you ineligible for the benefit if you opted out of paying (which I did because I am a big dummy and couldn't predict how valuable paying $1200 in one year could potentially be in the long run). I have to pull out my records and see just how many months after 9/11 I served to see what percentage of benefit I may qualify for.

2. To add to my official nerd status, I received a notification from my school that I have earned a place on the Academic Honors List. If I can stay on the path that I am on now, I have the potential to graduate Summa cum Laude (3.9-4.0 gpa), Magna cum Laude (3.7-3.89 gpa), or Cum Laude (3.5-3.69). Because I have no idea what those words mean, I looked them up (just in case anyone else was wondering what the heck this all really means) and here is what I found:
Summa cum Laude translates to mean "With Highest Praise"

Magna cum Laude translates to mean "With Great Honor"

and Cum Laude translates to mean "With Praise"

I would be absolutely thrilled to end up with any of those Honors, but am just striving to do the best that I can do.

3. My sweet, precious, and most adorable daughter is going to be 2 years old on Thursday. In so many ways, I can't believe she is already going to be 2. In alot of ways, I can't believe she is only going to be 2. I'm not trying to infer that my child is gifted, but she blows me away, sometimes, with just how intelligent she really is. But then again, look at who her parents are!! ;}

And did I mention how cute she is?!! Here's a picture to remind you!! :)

4. Leo, Holly and I are headed to Michigan for the long holiday weekend. My cousin is getting married and my whole family is going to be there (my dad's side of the family, that is). I get to see my Mom, Dad, brother and nephew also! I am so excited to hang out with everybody and hopefully there will be some relaxation going on too!!

Well, I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend, as well!! I'll miss you all! Take care:)

My Heavenly Smoothies!

The weather is warmer and the days are longer. At this time of year, especially, I crave fruit. All kinds of fruit. The colder the better. So the best solution I have come up with to satisfy my craving is a simple and utterly delicious smoothie! Oh man, I can't rave about this thing enough. It's frosty and sweet. Cold and refreshing. Tangy and satisfying. One mention of this little slice of heaven and I'm drooling! So simple to make and everyone in my house gathers around begging for some when they hear that bone-jarring sound of the blender grinding that frozen fruit into pure delicousness. These things are the perfect compliment to my sweet tooth.

I know, I know...you guys are dying to hear my secret recipe. (Disclaimer, I'm sure this can't really be coined as "my" recipe and it's really no secret either!)

Are you on the edge of your seats yet?!!

Well here's how I make them:
1/2 bag of frozen fruit (your choice and be creative!)
1 container complimentary yogurt to fruit (either fat free, light or regular)
about 8 ounces of milk (I use 1%)

Put those luscious ingredients into the blender in the order listed and send them into a blender frenzy until smooth. Add more milk if you like them a little thinner. I like them almost like sherbet, where you practically have to eat them with a spoon! Those proportions of ingredients make 2 large smoothies!

So far I have made the following three combinations:
"Fruit for Smoothies" mixture from Payless which consists of Strawberries, Pineapples and Mangos mixed with Key Lime yogurt.
Fruit for Smoothies mixture with Cherry yogurt
Peaches with Strawberry yogurt

I get a brain freeze (what I affectionately call a Slurpee Tumor) from drinking these so fast. I'm serious, I barely come up for air until I have finished the last drop. And you can make them nearly fat free with the right combination of ingredients! I'm so tempted to go make me another one! Well, sorry if you all are drooling now also ;)! Hope you enjoy!

I'm a nerd!

It's official, I am a nerd. I have somehow managed to score an A in all of the classes I took this semester!

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

I jumping up and down and running around like a crazy woman!! Even my Macroeconomics class that nearly caused me a nervous breakdown!!

This is soo crazy!! Thank you all for reading my excitement! I hope you all have a great night!

WOW

What a truly wonderful and awesome God we serve! Thank you all so much for your love and support. I can't even begin to express what it means to me. I love you all, I really do!

I shared a funny God-sighting story in my family group yesterday, but the truth is, I could have gone on for a long time about ALL of the many God-sightings I have recently seen. So, I'm gonna take a moment and share another one with y'all. As you know, Saturday was not a good day for me. I think I felt the lowest than I have felt in a REALLY long time. I don't know why I let myself get so stressed out about things that are and are not in my control. I don't know why I listen to and believe the lies of the little voice telling me that I am all alone. I thank you all for the reminder that I am not now because of the great friends I have surrounding me, and most importantly, because of the AMAZING God who wants to be my friend. No matter what. Can you believe that? No matter whether I am on cloud nine or the pits of grief. It doesn't matter whether I am freshly cleaned, or covered in mud and muck. It doesn't matter if I am the best at anything or the worst at everything. He loves me and He wants to be my friend. With Him I am never alone. Hallelujah! But to get back on track. How amazing is it that after I poured my heart out and prayed for direction and comfort to get over that bump in the road, I show up at church to a message about the importance of Fellowship. Pastor Randy sat up there and said ALL of the right things and I could have sworn he was talking directly to me! Seriously, I was thinking "Did he read my blog?!! And was it important enough to dedicate a whole message to me?!!" (Yep, I was truly being self-centered in thinking, I'm really bad at that!) I left that morning from church feeling like a whole new person. I knew that my troubles had been comforted. I felt the love and support of God, my husband, my daughter, and all my great friends who just gave me a smile or hug or a comforting word. Now that is what I call a God sighting. Then at Family Group, when it was time to come together and pray, Leo and I were actually prayed for specifically for something. I'm sure that has happened in the past, but this time it sticks out for me so blatently because of my previous thoughts of feeling nearly invisible. Anyway- I know that may sound silly to feel so giddy about a prayer but for me it is just another reminder that God is good!

So I leave you with a quick inspirational thought that I read in my Women of Faith study on Discovering God's Will for Your Life, Foreward by Sheila Walsh-
"If I could say only one thing, it would be simple and to the point: God knows all about you. He knows your good days and your bad days. He knows the noble thoughts and the shameful thoughts. He sees your devotion and your indifference. And He loves you- totally, completely, passionately, boundlessly. Forever." - Sheila Walsh

I need an intervention!

Have you ever been surrounded by friends and still been lonely? Have you ever just wanted to state your piece and be done with it, but someone insists on pointing out your faults? Have you ever started to open up to people about what's bothering you, only to be told that what you're struggling with isn't that bad because it doesn't compare to what that person is having to deal with? Have you ever had a fight with your spouse and wanted to change the locks as soon as he left the house? Have you ever felt so emotionally drained that you don't even know why you try? Have you ever dreaded going to work, but also dreaded being at home because both places seem to be constant reminders of all the things you are failing at?

Well I am so totally there. And I know that I am not alone in any or all of these feelings. For any of you that feel even a touch of what I feel, I'm sorry. I wish nothing more than to make everything right for you, me and everybody.

I have allowed myself to procrastinate a 5 page research paper for the last class of this semester. It's due tomorrow and I have 2 pages done. The class is Macroeconomics and I could care less about it. I want to just quit and turn in what I've done for a partial grade and say "to heck with it". I can't keep my house clean and it's making me crazy. Nothing raises the hair on my back more than stepping on dirt and grit on the floor. I'm having litter box madness issues like Kara mentioned in her recent post. Seriously, why can the litter not stay in the box?!! I have no disillusionment that my house is going to be sparkling at all times with a 2 year old running around, but I really hate putting my hand on the counter, only to find dried food from who knows when stuck to the counter (and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in my household specifically because we are all guilty of making those messes and leaving them). If I allow my desk at work or home to get any more cluttered and unorganized, I think I may have a mental breakdown. I'm feeling very condemned right now about the house I live in, the car I drive, basically every choice I make. I worry that everything I say will be the wrong thing and that I will hurt people or make them angry. I mean I have even had nightmares lately of making friends cry because everything I said came out so wrong and I couldn't fix it. I'm so scared that I will push people away from me by saying or doing the wrong thing that I have been staying away from people when what I want so badly right now is to have someone to hang out with on nights like tonight when my husband is working.

I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how to get over this. I'm so tired right now. I'm gonna go hammer away at this paper for a little while longer and then head to bed. Please pray for me. I really need it right now. I love you guys!

It's been awhile

Hey Everyone!

I know it's been awhile! Last week I was trying very diligently to get all of my Operations Management assignments completed and turned in before I went out of town on Friday for a quick trip to see my Aunt and Uncle in Michigan. I did get them all done and as long as I get a decent grade on my last paper, I believe I may have squeezed out an A!! I don't mean to sound at all that I am boasting. By the end of this semester, I just wanted it all to be done and over with and I didn't put forth as much effort as I probably should have! Now this week I have to buckle down and complete the remaining 3 quizzes and one 5 page paper and I will be done with my Macroeconomics class too!! I will be lucky to get a B in that class because I am TERRIBLE in that subject. I'll just be glad to complete it!

So, as I mentioned, I went out of town this past weekend for a little R&R at my Aunt and Uncle's house. I took Holly with me and we had a blast! They live out in the country on a pretty big lot of land and Holly had so much fun playing outside and being able to run around like crazy. My Aunt Debbie is soooo sweet and she is so good with Holly. Yesterday we got to go fishing and it was Holly's first time on a boat. Here's a couple of pictures!

Here we are just backing the boat into the water! I was so scared that she was going to jump over the side of the boat at any minute! She has no fear of water but doesn't know how to swim! Eeek!

I love this picture! It looks like she is biting her lip in nervousness but she did really great!! She didn't care for the life-jacket because she could barely move her head with it on. I was so pleased with how patient she was!

Okay this is totally a posed picture, but cute none-the-less! We were fishing with worms and everytime my uncle would put the bait on Holly would say "EWWWWW....ucky!" She laughed when one of us finally caught a fish and she got to see it up close but she was not gonna touch the thing!

Well, I missed you all and I hope you all had a great weekend too! I'm sad that we don't get to see each other on Wednesdays for a while. I was thinking it may be fun to have a ladies night out and go to dinner or something else fun. Is anybody interested? Any suggestions of things to do? Let me know and I will see what can be arranged!

Follow-Up

Well, I know you all were on the edge of your seats about how I did with the assignment I wrote about in my previous blog!! ;} I ended up doing the correct assignment and figured the wrong assignment is just extra practice that I apparently needed! The bummer was that the correct assignment was much easier and didn't take near the time as my extensive Excel spreadsheet! The good news is that I got the assignment done and turned in on time and am one quiz and exam away from completing the class! I hope to have those done by Thursday so I can just get it over with! Hopefully I won't goof up and do the wrong assignment again anytime soon!

I hope you all had a good Memorial Day holiday! Leo and I went to his grandfather's house and I got to help plant some plants in his garden. It was quite fun and Holly was having a blast throwing dirt everywhere! The row of okra seeds that were planted just might be scattered throughout the entire garden after she got done with it! Oops! Oh well it was cute anyway!

You've gotta be kidding me!

I don't know if many of you knew this or not, but I am taking online college courses towards the completion of a bachelor's degree. The school I am taking these classes through is Indiana Tech and the degree program is awesome! I can complete the Bachelor's of Science in Business Management solely online if I want to. It is so convenient for me because I get to "go to class" whenever I want to. From home. In my P.J.'s, if I choose to. In nothing at all if I want to, although the leather chair at my desk may be a little uncomfortable for that! ;} I just have to have the discipline to do it. And, I am usually pretty good about it.

Like for instance tonight. I sit down at my desk, crack my book open to the assignment, and just start plugging away. The class that I am taking is Intro to Operations Management and the chapter we are working in is concerning Facility Layout. The assignment I am completing is a Case Study of a business and what I think should be done to correct the problem given in the Case Study. My first thought is dread. I'm tired, I don't want to do it. I mean really, why can't the professor just hand me my "A" and let's be done with it already! Should I really have to jump through these homework hoops?! Okay, okay, back to reality. So I begrugdingly start working on the first problem. Heh- it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. My frown is beginning to turn upside down. Ooooh- I get to make an Excel Spreadsheet! I am really starting to get excited. I'm telling you, nothing makes me happier somedays than putting a bunch of information into an Excel Spreadsheet! I'm serious! So, I'm working away, entering the numbers I need, making formulas so I don't have to use a calculator because, well, let's just say I love a good challenge. I'm sitting up straighter in my chair. My shoulder's are going back a little and my chest is pushed forward with pride at my pretty spreadsheet. I'm coming up with some good answers that I just know are gonna knock the socks off my professor. I can't believe it but I sailed through that assignment with no problems and I'm wondering why I even get so stressed about these things. Now it's time to submit the assignment, as it is due tomorrow, and I am done with it now so why not?! I go to the website that I have to attach this information. The instructions for the assignment are listed before the link I have to use and something draws my attention to the title of the Case Study I was supposed to do. It's supposed to be "Sawhill Athletic Club (B)".

Ohhhh - you have GOT to be KIDDING me! I did "Sawhill Athletic Club (A)"! Well, there's 2 hours of my life down the drain that I could have been doing something much more fun and exciting like reading and posting on other people's blogs! And who the heck thought naming the two different case studies the same name with just one letter difference would EVER be a good idea. Grrrr....

Here's how terrible my mind is. My first thought is submit what I did and see if the teacher catches it. And then I'm thinking, if he does, I'll just play dumb like I didn't notice. Maybe he'll just grade what I did do and take a little off since it technically wasn't the correct assignment. Or maybe he'll give me the chance to do the correct one and I'll do it then, if he asks! Why, oh why do I put more effort into not doing the right thing sometimes than I do to just do what was asked of me the correct way. Well...I know what I'm gonna be doing tomorrow. Anyone want to help?!! ;}

Who am I?

I have really pondered for a long time about what to write next. I am completely drawing a blank (hence the filler post with pictures!). I have read every blog tonight that I have saved to my favorites (10 of them to be exact-wow how awesome to get to know you all this way!) in hopes for inspiration. Maybe I have been inspired and maybe I haven't, I don't really know but I feel like something is bottled up in me and just needs to flow.

Sometimes I think to myself, "I can't help someone because I haven't been through the same thing." Or I think, "Does anyone really care that I hurt right along with them when they are struggling." And the longer I think about these things, the more I get mad at myself for even going there. I fully realize that these thoughts are put there by the enemy and I will not allow the enemy to prevail. Please bear with me as I try to explain my thoughts, and I'm sorry that I can't quote scripture to back up my thoughts and ideas but I'm just not to that point yet. I admire those that can and I'm trying really hard- but I'm not there yet.

You know what- it's okay that we haven't all struggled equally. We have all struggled in some way, shape, or form and we know how emotionally and physically draining it is to go through those times. How would anyone ever get out of the pit if everyone jumped in with them "to make them feel better." Sometimes you're the one pulling people along, sometimes you're the one pushing people along, and sometimes you are the one stuck in the mud. Thank God for the fact that at one time or another we will play each of those roles because of how much better we are for those times and the ability to get through them and help others as a result of them.

And maybe not everyone believes or cares that I hurt when they struggle, but there's a chance that someone does care. I will not change my ways to accomodate those that do not care. I will continue in those ways if even the slightest chance exists that it will make a difference in anyone's life that I care enough about them to hurt when they hurt. I know the feeling of loneliness and emptiness and am so thankful that I am not there, personally, right now. And from the bottom of my heart, I wish there was a way to be the wordly comfort that those that are hurting may need. But I can tell you the good news is that God loves each and every one of us just the way we are. He is the ultimate comforter. Lay your burdens at His feet and you can feel the ultimate relief. He can repair marital problems, self-esteem issues, feelings of doubt, restlesness, emptiness and loneliness if you take off that weight you are carrying and give it over to Him. Please know that I say this for your benefit and for mine because I struggle to do this on a daily basis. I am independent, self-sufficient, and controlling and try to take over my life for myself. Amazingly enough, I fail everytime and yet I keep going back to it again and again and again. Thank God for His grace and mercy.

I love you all! I really do. I wish nothing but the best for you all and truly mean that. Good night.

Pretty blah day!

Renay said she had never met my husband and mentioned I should post a picture. Since I can't think of anything else to write about, here's a picture or two! The top picture is Leo and I at an 80's party we went to last year. The above picture is us at Universal Studios a couple of months ago. Hope you all enjoy the pictures!

This is sooo cool

I have the coolest thing to tell you all about. As many of you may or may not have known, Leo (my husband) is going to school right now to become a high-school english teacher. (I personally think he is crazy for that because, at that age, the kids talk back! With serious attitudes!) Anyway, he is off from school this summer because the only thing he has left before he can graduate is to student-teach. For obvious reasons :) he cannot do that over the summer and will be able to finish that up in the fall semester and graduate in December of this year. (YAY!)Anywhoo- He has been looking for a summer job for the past several weeks and hasn't been having much luck. Not for a lack of trying, either. I mean he is amazing to me in his diligence to find a job and has applied at so many diverse places because he is willing to do just about anything for work. Well, he has finally been offered a job and I am so excited for so many reasons. I am so excited for him because he was getting very discouraged. The even more neat thing is that he will actually be working at the same place that I am working (different departments, of course) on the same time schedule that I work, which means no additional money towards gas because we can ride to work together! With gas prices the way they are, that is SUCH a blessing. The pay is pretty good and he doesn't have to pretend that this is a job he will be working at for long, either. I'm telling you guys--GOD IS GOOD!

It's so ironic (maybe that's not the right word, but it's all I've got at this point!) too because I just realized last night that all this time my husband has been struggling and I wasn't even praying for him. (Sorry, honey!) I wasn't neglecting to pray for malicious reasons, I'm just new to this and I forget! So last night, I finally got my act in gear and prayed that he would either be blessed with a job, or be able to find comfort in understanding why he wasn't being successful. God must have known of this awesome opportunity that was coming around the corner. I never ceased to be amazed at the large and small miracles that He does everyday! Thank you, God, for blessing me with such amazing family, friends, and opportunities.

Like a weight has been lifted

Leo and I had the pleasure of having Pastor Randy and Lisa at our house last night for dinner. We invited them over because we wanted their insight about a few things and the dinner turned out fabulous! (Thanks Leo for helping me make the Pork Roast).

As I just mentioned, the meal consisted of a Pork Loin Roast which was quickly browned in a skillet and then transfered to the crockpot to finish. Then I oven roasted some potatoes and carrots with an Onion Soup mix. MMMM! I had a simple salad on the side which rounded out the meal quite nicely. I will definitely be making that meal again!

Anyway, part of the reason for their visit was because up until very recently, I have struggled with living here and being so far away from my mom. She lives outside of Savannah, GA and I grew up in that area. My mom has always been my best friend in addition to being my mother. I moved here with the plan that as soon as Leo graduated from school, I was moving back to Georgia, where I felt I belonged. I have clung to that thought for the several years we have lived here. Well, Leo will be graduating soon and I have suddenly felt alot of anxiety about the decision to move. I have a good job and a nice house and moving would mean those things would be in limbo for an indeterminate amount of time. I finally feel surrounded by friends who care for me and make me feel wanted after so long of being soooo lonely. I have renewed my faith because of the church that we go to and I don't know if my faith is strong enough to handle finding a new church somewhere else. Leo and I want to have 2 kids and I want the doctor I had with my first to deliver my second...and I'm no where near pregnant again! Talking to Randy and Lisa last night helped me realize that with as much anxiety as I am having about this decision, the best thing for me to do is stay put until I know for sure that moving would be a good idea for my family. At the same time I feel so bad for my mom because she is going through a rough time in her life right now and I want to be able to help her and part of me (because I think so highly of myself ;}) thinks that if we move to Georgia, it will fix all of my mom's problems. I just hope she understands the reasons behind our family's decision and can respect it.

So, basically what I am telling you guys is that you are stuck with me indefinitely! Aren't you all so excited?!! I knew you would be! ;} I love you guys and I will see you all tomorrow night, I hope!

Holy Moly!

I am so excited that you all have read and posted on my blog! You are so wonderful and I love you all!! Thanks for the encouraging words and I am stoked to post more!

My first blog

Well, I have decided to join ranks with the crowd of people that I have enjoyed reading and learning about through their blogs. I don't know if I will be near as insightful, witty, grammatically correct, or enthralling as those others that I have been reading, but I feel like this is something I would enjoy. I have never been one to journal or write in a diary so this whole idea is really new to me. I'm excited about the new adventure ahead of me!

I am going to start by taking part in a trend I have read on other blogs-

10 Random things about me:
1. I served in the United States Coast Guard for 7 years and was stationed in Freeport, Texas; Yorktown, Virginia; Atlantic Beach, North Carolina; and finally, Savannah, Georgia (my hometown).

2. I do the same routine in the shower everytime. I first wash my hair. Then I put on the conditioner and let it set while I wash my face. I rinse my hair and then wash my body starting with my belly first. Next is my arms and then finally, my legs and feet. Everytime, the same thing. The only fluctuation is whether or not I shave my legs!

3. I could eat Taco Bell for every meal, every day. "My name is Mari and I am an addict."

4. I never wanted kids until I met and married my husband.

5. When I was a little girl, I stuck a tack in my nose. Sideways. It was stuck in my septum. But most importantly...how the heck did I get a hold of a tack when I didn't have the mental aptitude to make a better decision?

6. I've driven a 1965 Chevy Corvette Sting Ray and a 1968 Chevy Camaro SS. And both before I was 18.

7. I hiked to the three mile resthouse of the Bright Angel Trail of the Grand Canyon and back with my husband. That is a 6 mile roundtrip hike that we did in about 4 hours with a 2000 ft. elevation change.

8. I used to clog and would love, love, love to find another group to clog with again. The group that I used to clog with in Savannah was a contemporary group and we clogged to modern music although I have clogged to country and bluegrass in the big frilly dresses.

9. I've been pulled over for speeding 6 times and was only written a ticket for one of them. My military ID always seemed to get me out of a ticket! :)

10. I love to do carpentry projects and love working with power tools but I will run like a chicken if I hear a chain saw in my vicinity.

Well- I hope you enjoyed my random things and that you will be back to read more soon!