Another stumbling block today

I didn't sleep very well last night. I woke up in the middle of the night with chills. I went to the kitchen and took some ibuprofen. When I laid back down, I got as close to Leo as I possibly could. Oh man did his body heat feel sooo good! Unfortunately for Leo, he doesn't sleep very well when I am touching him, so I inevitably shared my restless night with him. Sorry hunny!

When I woke up in the morning, I wasn't really feeling much better. After a few minutes (okay probably an hour) of being stubborn, I called the nurse/doctor's line. I actually do not have a thermometer in the house, so there was no way to know how high the fever was, but if you touched me, you could feel serious heat radiating from my body and I was shaking uncontrollably and freezing from my head to my feet. The doctor called in a couple of prescriptions, one for an antibiotic and one for a better pain medication and a little while later we headed to the pharmacy. While at the pharmacy, we went ahead and picked up a thermometer. I checked my temp in the car on the way to get lunch and it was at 102.5! I took the medicine as soon as I sat down for lunch and within an hour I was feeling much better.

Today at 3 p.m., Leo, my mom, Holly and I went to the Funeral Home to make the cremation arrangements for Brooke. It was very interesting trying to explain to a 4 year old why we were where we were! I know that she doesn't really understand it and she has been such a blessing to not ask more questions than I can handle right now. The meeting went well and I was able to keep my composure, unlike most of the rest of the day.

Needless to say with the combination of grief and sickness, today was a very emotional, heart-wrenching day. There is still so much I don't understand. There is still so much that breaks my heart. But I still stand strong in my faith. My Lord, Jesus Christ is suffering right along with me. At the same time, He is providing comfort and support that is unmatchable. He is catching all my tears and exchanging them for love and comfort from the people around me. He WILL be glorified through all of this, and I cannot stop singing his praises.

Right now I am waiting to go to sleep but unfortunately the medicine does not feel like it is working like it did earlier. I still have two hours until I can take another pain pill, and I am still feverish and uncomfortable. I have parked it on the couch for the night, because I usually sleep much better here when I am not feeling good. Plus, my mom is right here with me so if I need her in the night, she won't be too far. It is so comforting to have my mother close. I can never thank her enough for being here right now. I know there is nothing a mother won't do for their child, but I never want to or mean to take that for granted. I am truly blessed to have such a loving and caring family and friends. I look forward to seeing many of you at church tomorrow. I am ready to worship and praise the God who created this world and all the things in it. He is truly worthy of our praise!